l-o-v-e-d

" When Christ said: ''I was hungry and you fed me,'' he didn't mean only the hunger for bread and for food; he also meant the hunger to be loved. Jesus himself experienced this loneliness. He came amongst his own and his own received him not, and it hurt him then and it has kept on hurting him. The same hunger, the same loneliness, the same having no one to be accepted by and to be loved and wanted by. Every human being in that case resembles Christ in his loneliness; and that is the hardest part, that's real hunger." - Mother Teresa



This quote is so humbling to me from this perspective... gives me an even deeper realization to the character of the Lord and how connected He is to me, personally. "He came amongst His own and His own received Him not". Wow. Actually... that seems to be a pretty continuous thing, right? He so desperately wants to be our Deliverer, our Redeemer, or spirit of hope... ["his own"] and so often we [I] doubt. I tend to think my way is better than his soveriegn plan.

Grace and Mittens.

Well, I'm in the middle of my first week working with World Orphans and I’m already scheduled to go to a conference in Waco [the World Mandate Conference… looks amazing] and I’ll be heading to Colorado the next week. The Colorado trip means that I’ll be able to meet the staff [which is scary and exciting all in one little ball of emotion] and it’s also a time for the staff to regroup and discuss what God has in store for 2009. I’ve never been to Colorado… any pointers other than coats, gloves and mittens [oh my!]?

Those of you that know me, know that I'm an avid quote and verse collector. I have many pages of favorite quotes, lyrics and scripture, and I assure you - the majority of those will make an appearance on this blog at one time or another [actually, look up and you’ll see a portion of my favorite prayer of St. Francis].

A few weeks okay, I was reading in 2 Corinthians and these scriptures stuck out to me… especially the bold.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer.
And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort. We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-10

Wow! Why should we worry about the day to day tasks of living? God has already delivered us and the amazing thing about His grace is that He will CONTINUE to deliver us. How humbling and amazing it is to realize that His grace meets us where we are, but it doesn’t leave us where it found us!

Let me sow love.

September 28, 2006 was a day that is still influencing my life. Earlier that year, the Lord began putting the country of Nigeria on my heart. As a typical senior in high school, I was consumed with my comfortable “me-me-me” mentality, and didn’t give His calling much thought. I kept reassuring myself that “I’m content in Texas… I can be a reflection of Him here, in my controlled comfort zone”. God continued, not in a subtle way, to make it clear that I’d be going on the 2006 trip, despite my feeble attempts to disregard it. I’m honestly not really sure how I showed up at that first meeting. “It’s just an informational meeting! No obligation!” the many voices said.

I had known about this particular trip for many years. A large group of people at my church would go at least once a year. I had seen all of the pictures and heard all of the stories, but still never felt connected to this particular country (or any country, for that matter). It boiled down to fear; fear of the unknown, fear that I didn’t have an earth shattering testimony to share, fear of speaking in large groups, fear of cost and ultimately the fear of giving up control.

Around the time I was dealing with these particular insecurities, I attended a regular church service in which the speaker starting speaking about control. Everything he said was a big nudge and a “told you so” from God. He concluded with this:

“God doesn’t use the most eloquent. God doesn’t use the ones with the best testimony, or the most talented… God will use the willing.”

By this time, I was squirming in my seat in anticipation. “God??! I’ve never been on a plane, and you want my first experience to be a 26 hour one to another country?!” Apparently so.

I arrived in Abuja, Nigeria on September 28, 2006. I stepped off the plane, already feeling nauseous and uncomfortable, wanting to turn around and get right back on. Thankfully, I did not. I was there with a mindset of helping orphans, changing lives, being a light in the darkness… needless to say, I came back to America not realizing how much of an effect the people of Nigeria had on me. I wanted to go and “do”, be the feet of Jesus… hug the orphans, experience what they go through, but I took much more back from it than I originally thought. I try to remind myself daily, when things aren’t working out the way I want them to, or if I’m feeling overwhelmed or out of my comfort zone… that the safest place to be is in the center of God’s will, despite our current fears and frustrations.

I think God likes to challenge us and grow us by nudging us out of our comfort zones. I’ve learned to embrace those sometimes subtle nudges and go with the flow. There seems to be no use fighting God’s will because He promises us that He is in control. The theme of 2008 was definitely control; letting God do His thing, and me follow. So when I received the call in late 2008 regarding a position with World Orphans… there wasn’t much hesitation. 2009 is already looking to be a year of growth, challenges and in the center of His will.

“Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.” –Mother Teresa